My Fiance Gets a New Girlfriend in the Fourth Week of 'Temptation Island' 

My, my, my what a week it has been. Usually, I like to share how Pancake and I are doing on our Temptation journey on Wednesdays, but I decided to have all my molars taken out on Temptation Tuesday and the only temptation I was facing was whether to cry loudly or cry quietly. I opted for loudly in case you were wondering. In fact, I think I cried so loudly that I think someone may have heard me...

Anyway, once my mouth stopped bleeding, for the most part, Pancake and I settled in for another exciting night of pretending to date other people. I really hope this is what marriage will be like.

Before I get into anything, I have to shout out Kaci for having the best opening bonfire outfit out of the fab four.

I’m glad John is thinking that it’s time to put Kady on the back burner because she has had him burning in the back since they got to the island. What really scuffed my Timbs is Kady trying to blame her John bashing on her fatherless childhood. As one fatherless child to another, I’m going to need her to get it the fuck together and not look for daddy in the man she’s trying to marry. That’s creepy.

Do you know what else is creepy? Tyler, one of the singles, feeling the need to be the conversation police when another single asked Nicole why they hadn’t been on a date. It’s the WHOLE POINT of the show Tyler, calm down. And if Nicole didn’t like it then let her be the strong woman she constantly claims to be and let her be the one to tell White Guy #7 to fall back.

The next morning before date selection, the Fab 4 (and I) were given the option to bring a new single into the house or keep the twelve guys we already have. I was very pleased with our mutual decision to eliminate someone so Cameron could join the party. Although I will add that I really wanted to eliminate Val. No one listens to me.

On the men’s side, Pancake was against the addition of Lindsey being that he wasn’t attracted to her. Surprise, surprise since he’suddenly developed a taste for blondes.

This week, Pancake was actually pretty ambivalent about going on his date. He chose racially ambiguous hottie, Erica. This makes more sense to me than his last two choices (Brittney and Allie) since Erica is on the younger side and she’s got dark hair. If I had bigger boobs and shinier teeth we could be sisters. . . with completely different parents.

Anyway, I opted to not go on a date due to injury. I can’t open my mouth all the way, there’s a lot of swelling around my jaw and I look square-faced. I am not my optimal flirtatious self. So I opted to stay in the beach mansion and have Cameron tend to me.

After date time Pancake did take it a little rough that Javen and Yoga Bae were chatting upon his return to the house. But I think he’s starting to like her more as he realizes that she is very confident and secure in herself. But that whole peanut butter thing with Erica may have thrown a wrench in their romance. I can’t keep up with all this.

Closing bonfires are always tough. This one was particularly difficult as I had to watch the men literally sprint from one end of the machismo spectrum to the other. On some level they’re all threatened by the single men and yet they believe their ownership of their girlfriends is so strong that they don’t have to worry. But at the end of the day, shouldn’t we all be worried?

I know Kaci is.